The Vault

I've been playing Diablo since it came out and I was nay high. I remember the chunky graphics of the first game, and the hours I spent being a barbarian raiding everywhere I can get to and leaving piles of money on the church courtyard because.. I didn't have inventory space? I was afraid of losing it in the dungeons? I don't remember.

I didn't have a chance to play Diablo II because I was busy picking up bad habits in college, and went straight to Diablo III on a secondhand PS3 (wizard level 68) and sometimes dicking around with my nephew's PS4 (monk level 65). I spent around 150 hours on that game, and now that my life partner thought it a good idea (bless 'im) to bring his Nintendo Switch to the Philippines while living with me, I have spent a good 70+ hours on it on the Switch with a character who Tim calls "Jizzlove" for its unpronounceable default Zdislav.

Level 70 paragon 31, aw yiss.
While playing adventure mode this evening I was mashing buttons in a swarm of enemies surrounding a treasure pygmy, and I was surprised when in my rather very enthusiastic mashing I found myself inside the portal that the pygmy cast to get away from me, the enchantress, and my seven rather naked skeletons. It led into The Vault.

It had so many treasures and gold you'd bleed from your eyes, and the design was whew as hell. It's one of the newer surprises that greeted me while playing adventure mode.


The big boss was an.. Orangutan? Of sorts? Who died after two bone spikes from Jizzlove. My character is a bit OP, with me playing in normal. Anyway, the big ape boss didn't even finish his spiel when we killed him.

And then a gigantic chest fell on his head.


When I opened it, I bled from my eyes some more. I'll let you see for yourself from another player how this one goes from start to finish, since I was too happy to actually screen cap what fell out of that ridiculous chest. I got three unidentifieds from it, and one legendary gem.

Not bad for playing four hours tonight.

I'll write again of Jizzlove when I reach paragon level 1000. Maybe I'd have more clothed skeletons then.

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